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February 2009
Going into my local Marks & Spencer Simply Food store last week was to enter a totally pink world - pink signs extolling us to eat in for £10, pink champagne, pink heart shaped boxes of chocolates (temporarily displacing the eater eggs that have been on sale since Christmas), and bunches of pink flowers. All in the name of an obscure priest who lived in Roman times in the reign of Claudius II. At that time, Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that Roman men did not want to leave their loved ones. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. Saint Valentine apparently sympathised with couples who wanted to get married and officiated at weddings that were held in great secrecy. Eventually he was caught disobeying the emperor’s decree, was taken before the Prefect of Rome and condemned to death. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. Now he is the patron saint of love and lovers (as well as apparently beekeepers and, surprise surprise, greetings card manufacturers) and the love that we associate with his name is represented by the aforesaid pink hearts, red roses and sickly chocolates, not to mention the greetings cards.
Love is a word that is much used in the Bible. But in the context of our faith, what do we mean by love. In the Ten Commandments we are told that we should love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our strength. For the Old Testament writers, love was not primarily an emotion, but more a matter of will. If someone loved, it was not because their feelings moved them to but because they had decided to. Thus to the Israelites, love of God was very much an obligation, just as it was an obligation to love one’s parents. And that love was shown by being obedient. This didn’t mean that there was never a bond of affection in family relationships, but rather that if the feeling wasn’t there, then the sense of obligation was in no way diminished.
The Greek of the New Testament has at least four words for love. Each of those words has a different slant on the meaning of love.
The first word is "eros". This is probably most associated with the Valentine’s Day sort of love. It means romantic and sexual love between lovers and is the Greek word that has given us the English word erotic.
Apart from this romantic love there is also love between friends. In Greek this word is “philia”. This is different from romantic love. This is the sort of love where friends enjoy each others company, enjoy each other’s personalities and generally care for each other.
Then there is the affection that family members feel for each other. The Greek word for this kind of love is Storge. It is a love that is naturally present and is therefore subtly different from “eros” and “philia” which are rather more types of love that we choose to give.
As interesting as all these meanings of love are, they don’t speak of the love that Jesus was talking about as recorded in John’s Gospel where we read “I give you a new commandment: love one another; as I have loved you, so you are to love one another. If there is this love among you, then all will know that you are my disciples.” This type of love is radically different from all the others. In Greek it is called “agape” which involves loving God and loving one another. But a different sort of love to that described by the Old Testament writers. If to them love equated to duty, then love to Jesus means putting someone’s interests before your own – the sort of love that looks for no return. And so in the context of our lives as followers of Christ, love means submitting to the rule of God and making him the focus of our family lives, our Church life and our community life. It means seeking the well being of others first. It means fighting self-centredness and making obedience to God’s word our priority, making decisions prayerfully and taking our problems and difficulties to God in prayer. For us as Elders, it is this agape love which binds us together as God’s children and it is this agape love that motivates us as we share in the care and maintenance our Church family and the community in which we live.
October 2006
This coming Saturday my one and only (so far) Great Grandchild will be one. That and the way the grand child that is the youngest of nine is shooting up, (he also has a birthday in a few weeks’ time), had me thinking how lucky this young generation is in the number of things that they take for granted. Holidays abroad, plane flights, television, computers, video games, all physical and technical advances that the last 50 years have bought. But are they as children any happier than we were all those years ago (I am speaking for myself. If you are much younger than me, it may not apply). There are so many things that children can’t do (or we won’t let them do). When I was eleven or twelve, I would take the tube into the centre of London and wander around exploring the West End and the City – would you let your young relatives do that today? I went swimming every summer morning in the local open air pool, after doing a paper round and before riding my bike to school. Long walks across Hampstead heath and Ken Wood were also a part of my life. In all these pursuits, nothing untoward happened. Now day you wouldn’t be allowed to get up at six to do a paper round at the age of eleven. The law forbids it!
Children are our future and the future of the Church. While I fully support the actions taken to protect children from paedophiles we must find ways of encouraging them and giving them a certain amount of freedom to develop confidence and independence. Or they will grow up with an expectation that the nanny State will look after everything for them. Perhaps this is what our Politicians want?
I can’t help feeling that my generation has made a mess of things. My great hope is that the Church and some of the schools that are faith schools may lead the next generation into a realisation that there is more to life than the physical, that the power of prayer is amazing and that there is a spiritual part to every human being.
Let us pray
Father, may we never grow ungrateful for the life you have given us, nor despairing of its possibilities. May we never grow cynical about the world in which you have set us. May each day be welcomed as a new opportunity and each person as the neighbour whom Christ has given us. Thank you Lord for people, for city streets and lonely mountains, for streams on a hillside and rain on window panes, for the seasons, for sun and cloud, for words, conversations, books, jokes, prayer, for music that lifts us close to heaven and ordinary days that so often take us by surprise. Amen
Beyond ourselves
So I’m on the home straight now – nearly the end of my six year term as serving elder. I’ve failed of course – I haven’t managed a year when I’ve had to change every single duty from the ones which Alan and Robin so carefully map out at the beginning of the year – but I’ve had a jolly good try. Although, I have managed a few rolling triple swaps and I look like I’m going to get away with the vestry duty I owed Robin back in November 2002 if I keep my head down!
Six years ago we had all just escaped the millennium bug, and far more significantly were enjoying the flexibility and additional space provided by our new Sanctum. We had, in a small way done an extraordinary thing. From a relatively small and not particularly wealthy congregation and with some very skillful negotiation with the URC we had raised the funds and in due course paid off the loans that allowed us to extend our buildings. Ordinary people, doing an extraordinary thing.
Looking back on those events over six years ago, it seems to me that they were a perfect example of the way we see God acting in the world today. There is no point in denying the challenges and complexities of the world we live in. Challenges that frequently leave us feeling that things are out of our control – issues too complex, tragedies on too large a scale, problems we cant get our heads round. They don’t all get resolved – we have to accept that this is the way things are. But in amongst the big problems we all know or read of examples where individuals and groups are seemingly able to achieve the extraordinary, sometimes in situations of real adversity – and sometimes though having the conversion of ideas into reality, seemingly against the odds.
We see a perfect example of this in Jesus’ disciples– you could not get a more ordinary collection of individuals and yet in the months and years after Jesus death they did something truly extraordinary. Their actions founded a movement that has lasted over 2000 years. As Peter and John faced the Jewish leaders after healing the lame man Acts 4 vs 13 tells us..” The members of the council were amazed to see how bold Peter and John were and to learn that they were ordinary men of no education…’what shall we do with these men?’ they asked. Everyone in Jerusalem knows that this extraordinary miracle has been performed by them and we cannot deny it…” They went on to warn them not to speak to anyone in the name of Jesus, but Peter and John were having none of it. They knew that Jesus would give them the power to do the extraordinary.
Now we can be frightened off if we think that the extraordinary has to mean miraculous healing or moving mountains. The biblical stories we remember and that survived to be put into print were inevitably going to be the most spectacular. But we are all called to do the extraordinary all the time – to make the sacrifice, to find the time, to set an example, to be brave, to take a risk, to accept the challenge. The question is how do we know if we should, or if it will be worth anything in the end – because lets not be naïve and say that everyone who is brave or accepts a challenge is doing the ‘right thing’. I guess the answer lies in whether we take the time stop and ask for guidance, either before we attempt to climb the mountain, or before we walk away from it. For when we take the time to do that, how often do we have so we have that inner feeling that we are stronger for doing so? That inner feeling that must have emboldened the disciples because it came from God.
So as this ordinary elder contemplates life in a few months without that fear every Sunday that I’ve managed to swap the wrong duty for the wrong day with the person whose already doing three others, I wish you well in continuing this extraordinary task of furthering God’s work through the life of the church. And for myself, of course I have to accept that there is probably something extraordinary round the corner that I will have to avoid ducking, despite thinking that its really not me.
Let us pray – Beyond Ourselves
You've restored my faith.....
In this life we cannot do great things.
We can only do small things with great love.
M.Theresa
Last summer, James and I were returning from visiting my parents, and we stopped at Asda for some bread and milk.
Returning to our car, James pointed to another parked a few bays along from ours, and said "Look Daddy!” There, was an old Vauxhall Astra, and nearly everything that could be opened, was open - tailgate, all four doors, sunroof… Next to it was a shopping trolley. Perched precariously on top of the trolley, was a 30" wide-screen television, in a very large cardboard box. A man of thirty or so was holding onto it with one hand, and scratching his head with the other. I always thought this was just a figure of speech, but he was indeed scratching his head, and wearing the expression of someone who has begun something without really thinking it through. I’ll call him Trevor, although we never did exchange names.
"Would you like a hand?” I asked. No response. I have to say that looking from the box, to the car, and back to the box, I didn't have much confidence that the one would fit in the other, help or no help.
"Would you like a hand?” I asked again. He looked up. "Sorry?” he said, distractedly. I had the impression that for some time his world had consisted entirely of the car, the television, and the shopping trolley, and he looked at me as if struggling to put a name to what was in front of him.
I tried again. "Would you like some help"? The change of wording seemed to help shake him out of it. "What, really?” he asked. I wondered how many people had walked by, thinking, "that'll never fit in there", and if he had actually thought of asking any of them to help him try. "Of course", I said, and we each took an end of the box. "I'm sure it'll fit", he said. "It's got to".
After five minutes, I worked out that by an involved sequence of pushes pulls and contortions it did indeed nearly fit. But not quite. "That's a shame", I said. "If the rear door was half an inch wider it would go in". Trevor said nothing, but began to remove the rubber door seal with his bare hands. "Here is a man", I thought, "who really wants this to fit".
"It's a present for my brother", he explained, answering my unasked question. "It's his birthday today, and I promised him he'd have it today. He doesn't get out much, he's disabled". He didn't say how. "I see", I said, and began to remove the trim from the other side of the door.
Another ten minutes saw a small pile of broken trim on the ground beside us. With a final shove from both of us (which put a large tear in the headlining) the box was wedged far enough in to get the tailgate almost closed. It was good enough. He turned to me, hand outstretched, and wearing a smile that I wouldn't have thought him capable of twenty minutes earlier. "Thanks”, he said. “Thanks a lot. You've restored my faith…”
I assured him it was no trouble, and that I was very pleased to help. We said goodbye, and as James and I headed back to the car I was feeling very pleased with myself. I had helped a stranger when others had passed by. I was the Good Samaritan. I awarded myself some Brownie points. My clever manoeuvring of the box earned me another ten for ingenuity. I'd also helped his disabled brother get his birthday present on time, so I gave myself a few more points for that. And to cap it all, James had witnessed a perfect example of ''love thy neighbour". I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried. I awarded myself a ten-point bonus for inspirational parenting.
Having said nothing while I was struggling with the box, James burst my bubble with a few well - aimed questions, and not for the first time…
"Daddy…..?"
"Yes, James?"
"That man's car was smaller than ours, wasn't it?"
"Yes, James”.
"The big box would have fitted in ours, wouldn't it?"
"Yes James, I suppose it would. Easily"
His point was clear, whether he meant it to be or not. Trevor’s brother only lived ten minutes away. I could have just taken it home for him. As it turned out, it would have been quicker.
I started the engine, mentally removing a few points from my score.
"Daddy…..?"
"Yes, James?"
"If the man's brother can't go out, how will the man get the box out of the car when he gets there?"
Blast. I hadn’t thought of that either. There go another ten points.
"If he's disabled he probably has someone at home to help", I said, hoping that James would miss the obvious possibility that that someone might be Trevor. There was no way that that television was coming out of that car, without at least two able-bodied people reversing the manoeuvre that had wedged it in there.
We turned onto the road.
"Daddy…..?"
"Yes, James?"
"What did the man say?"
"When?"
"When you shook hands".
"Oh, that. He said I'd restored his faith."
"What does that mean?"
I mused on the possibilities.
I'd restored his faith in God? - Unlikely. You’d have to question the depth of a faith so easily restored, anyway.
I'd restored his faith in the load capacity of the Vauxhall Astra? - Much more likely. I will never know, of course, and it was probably an off-the-cuff remark with no depth to it, just a way of amplifying his thanks.
"It's part of a saying, James. It's short for; ""You've restored my faith in human nature"". People sometimes say it when someone does something good for them that they weren't expecting.”
This set me thinking. It’s a particularly meaningless saying. You can find any trait you want in human nature if you look hard enough, from the breathtakingly good to the unimaginably evil. To have faith in all of it is like having faith in the weather – you can be sure it will always be there, but it might not be what you want it to be, and will be about as predictable. It also carries the implication that the speaker has previously lost their faith in human nature, presumably when confronted with the worst of it. The meaning we all give it is, "You've restored my faith in the best of human nature", but that doesn't trip off the tongue quite so well.
As human beings we are intrinsically selfish – mostly not malevolently, we just naturally put ourselves first most of the time, and we are at our best when we suppress this part of our nature. Doing this all the time is hard work, and probably impossible, simply because we are human.
We need constant reminders and examples to aspire to, which is what we have in the life and teaching of Jesus - a way to live our lives that will make us better than we are by nature; but it's not easy, because it doesn’t come naturally. We know His way is the best way, but we seem to forget very quickly when other pressures come to bear. I like to think that I would always help if I could, but the uncomfortable truth is that I have not, and shall not. Not always. My willingness to help Trevor would have been compromised by any number of circumstances in my own life at that moment, most of them, in retrospect, quite trivial…. late for an appointment, fractious toddler, pouring with rain etc. – it’s a long list.
So, what did my experience in Asda’s car park teach me?
a> Stop and help – and not just when it suits me. Five minutes late seldom hurts, unless you’re a paramedic or a fireman, which I’m not. I’m doing what God wants me to do, and it makes me feel better about myself. The latter of it is selfish of course, but doing something good knowing that it will also give you pleasure, is about as benign as selfishness gets. Everyone wins.
b> Sometimes you can do something better and quicker by being bolder, by seeing the problem like a four-year-old. I could have taken the man in my car to his brother’s house, helped him unload the box and brought him back to the car park, in less time than it took to dismantle his car, risk a hernia and send him off to face the problem of unloading it alone.
c> I didn’t do <b> because I just didn’t think of it. I didn’t think of it, because I have spent the last forty years subconsciously building a cautious, self-protecting view of the world that would regard offering to do so as inappropriate, or “over the top”, even suspicious. For the same reason, Trevor would probably have declined the offer. James, unencumbered by this baggage, had the most efficient and helpful solution.
d> We never know how far-reaching will be the effect of the smallest of our actions. I began by helping one man, but was in fact helping two. Trevor obviously found it remarkable that a stranger should do so much, as he saw it, to help him. Maybe he will do the same when the opportunity comes, where he perhaps wouldn’t have done so before. Sometimes a small thing can make a big difference, and make a difference is what I, as a Christian, should strive to do. If I can’t make a big difference, then a small one every day might add up to a big one over time – who knows? The only certainty is that if I pass by the chance to do something good, then no further good can come of it.
In my search to find some words to sum all this up, I came across an essay by the splendidly named J. Hampton Keathley III, of whom all I know is that he was American, a Doctor of theology, and is no longer with us. In it he says:
The events of our lives, even our everyday and seemingly mundane affairs, are not without importance. They are certainly not without God’s providential care as the One who works all things after the counsel of His own will. God’s people must consider this fact against the varied events of their lives. We must think, trust, and act accordingly. The events of life are tools and agents of God. He uses these to get our attention, to change our values, character, priorities, pursuits, and above all, to change our sources of trust for security and happiness.
I would like to close with a prayer…
Almighty
God, thank You for the job of this day.
May we find gladness in all its toil and difficulty,
its pleasure and success,
and even in its failure and sorrow.
Help us look always away from ourselves,
and behold the glory and the need of the world
that we may have the will and the strength to bring
the gift of gladness to others;
that with them we stand to bear
the burden and heat of the day
and offer you the praise of work well done.
Amen.
Many of you will no doubt be familiar with the words of the song ‘Count your Blessings’, which were written by an American Methodist Episcopal minister and published in 1897. I came across them again recently and although they are not perhaps the greatest work of literature they do encourage us to do something we probably don’t do often enough. “Count your blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done”. We are often more ready to moan and complain than we are to thank God for the great variety of blessings we enjoy. Caught up in the rush and stress of daily life we don’t always have time to appreciate all that God gives us. We should not only try to be thankful for all the basic things we take for granted such as food, shelter, clothes, education, freedom to worship and so on, but the small blessings which so enrich our daily lives. I read an article which suggested that you should start off by listing five blessings each day and carry on from there. We would all have different ideas about what makes our daily lives brighter - a cup of coffee and a chat with a friend who understands us and accepts us for what we are, settling down to read a new book by our favourite author (preferably with a bar of chocolate), time spent with our families, a game of golf, a thank you letter in the post, a certain piece if music, a brisk walk on a beautiful morning, a hot bath on a cold evening, I feel here that I ought also to include easy parking – it’s amazing how many people suddenly feel that God exists when they find a parking space. The article also suggests that we should try to make sure that we are a blessing to other people – a tall order to live up to, especially when someone gives you a fridge magnet which says ‘When I count my blessings I always count you twice.’ The many blessings of God’s creation can do much to lift the spirits – even a trip to Asda can be improved in the autumn by the particularly stunning colours of some of the trees in the car park. Having had to drive over Epsom Downs every morning until recently I was often inspired by the beauty of the skies and cloud formations – they must have been wonderful if they managed to lift my spirits even while involved in heated arguments with my son, against a background of pounding music and dubious lyrics. I think many children and young people these days need particularly to be reminded to ‘count their blessings’ – materially they have so much, but all around them the world of advertising encourages them to want more. Like all of us they have to learn to appreciate the priceless blessings of friendship, love, laughter, good health, life itself. Very often we don’t appreciate what we do have until something in our lives goes seriously wrong – the song reminds us that even in those times when we are “burdened with a load of care” and called to bear a heavy cross we must still hold on to our faith by counting those blessings. It ends: “So, amid the conflict whether great or small, Do not be disheartened, God is over all; Count your many blessings, angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journeys end.”
The Act of Faith
FAITH
It’s a word we use every day/week in support of our beliefs.
But how do different people interpret this word? For some, faith is the belief in something that cannot scientifically be proven ... for others it is the central focus of their religion.
However I would like to explore a different faith – mans faith in humanity and its progression through time as exhibited by the tsunami victims in Indonesia.
The second cataclysmic earthquake in the Indian Ocean a few weekends ago taught me a lot about faith.
Not the purely spiritual context of “believing in God” regardless, but of human faith in today and the future.
On Christmas Day last year Dave and I flew off to see the family in Florida, all buoyant and excited at seeing them in their new abode. Large accommodation, complete with pool, lush surroundings, kids at private school etc - then on Boxing Day the world was faced with an event that was unforecast and unforecastable – how did we react? Us booked into a beach resort for a week’s luxurious accommodation on New Year’s day, all mod cons provided and guaranteed temperature at 26 degrees+. Idyllic some would say - what more could one ask for.
But we were overwhelmed by the stark contrast between ourselves in warmth and comfort, overindulging and making merry with the family in America and the plight of so many thousand in the earthquake and tsunami zone. We were all thinking we must do something to help. But immediately, Martha my granddaughter who is 8 - such a thoughtful child and always their with a helping hand for others, put us to shame. She had disappeared for a while and when she returned she was complete with a primitive collection box, made from cardboard and stickers and paper from her Christmas presents. She took herself off to the neighbours in the hope that the box might be filled by the time we were due to leave on our trip. She took action – we were still thinking!!
Behind the scenes of human tragedy you could see a stoic resolution of the survivors, to firstly, try to find their relatives, but then to look ahead and start to re-build all that had been destroyed.
It touched all our hearts to see the poverty, destruction and destitution, which was made all the more poignant in our time of revelry and family reunions.
How would our faith stand up to such a catastrophe? Given their hardship would we equivocally back our God and when asked, just answer with the glib phrase
“He moves in mysterious ways” or would it raise a question and make us re-evaluate?
Here we see the faith of those who worship maybe a different God but their belief is just as real.
The spontaneous, charitable reaction of international aid and fundraising restored my faith in humanity but why did it take such an event to get the world pulling together - as always?
True faith is hard to define but I believe the Indonesians have taught us a lesson here.
Did they accept that the low-lying coastal areas could be subject to another earthquake and tsunami? – YES.
Did they abandon these areas and start to re-build on higher ground?– NO.
Of course, there were economic reasons to re-build on the coast, but I believe that there was a fundamental belief that such events must be endured – they’ve happened in the past and will probably happen again but such is life!
Relating this human faith back to our God, did Noah question God when he was asked to build the Ark to escape the flood. As we are told in Genesis God said “I have decided to put an end to all mankind. I will destroy them completely because the world is full of their violent deeds”.
NO – he showed his belief, followed instructions and he and his family was saved.
God’s covenant was that “never again will all living things be destroyed by a flood, never again will a flood destroy the earth”
I wonder if those Christians living in the Indian Ocean area remember this story and wonder “God, why has this happened to us a second time in 4 months – why do you try our faith so much”?
A Prayer
Oh God, you bring hope out of emptiness, energy out of fear
new life out of grief and loss.
Comfort all who have lost their homes, through persecution,
war, exile, famine, floods, or deliberate destruction.
Give them security, a place to live and neighbours they can trust.
Be with them as always. Peace to the world.
Amen